Thankful

BEWARE...rambling thoughts as I cook our thanksgiving meal!!

I am so thankful, it's amazing how much more thankful I am this year than any other year.

For some reason I have exhaled from Carson's birth...he's three, we've been safe for a very long time. I have just always waited for the other shoe to drop...I have been thinking that we got too lucky and something was going to happen. I think my heart finally was able to accept that it's okay, we were lucky, and now we can just enjoy it.

Something did happen, but it wasn't to Carson and it had nothing to do with prematurity. Our family has overcome a devastating event that not many can come back from and we have rallied and I believe we are finally OK. I am thankful for that.

It's been almost two years since Jay and I separated. It was awful, it was hell. For the six months he was living outside the house I did everything in my power to be keep it together for the kids. I had no options, I couldn't fall apart. I learned that I was much tougher than I ever gave myself credit for. I was healthy, I was stable, I as strong.

When we reconciled there was still so much anger, unresolved hurt and other issues that I often wondered if being together was a good idea. Turns out it is. We have worked our butts off to get back on track and do what is right for our children, our marriage, and ourselves.

We are far from perfect, but we are together.

I am so thankful to have such faith in God. He has given me the strength to let go of past hurts while holding on to the lessons and learning from them. Without the great Pastor at our church I'm not sure I would have been able to find this faith and hold on to it when all seemed to be going down hill.

I am thankful that we have gained a household member this past year. She has truly been a blessing to have. We are so blessed for me to be able to stay home with the kids or we might have missed this opportunity.

I am thankful that Jay has a job he loves and while doing it he is lucky enough to get three day weekends almost every week! We both think if he wanted to work more he could, but why work all the time and not be able to enjoy what you have?

I am thankful that my sister, her husband, and my niece are coming to visit next weekend. I have not seen them since the summer...and it's been way to long!

I'm going to finish making the stuffing now and get the rest of the meal put together so everybody can enjoy it and as soon as I'm done...I'm thankful to have bought Braylie an iPod a few months ago because I will use it to block out the noise and go to bed early so I can get up early...not even early, I am leaving my house around 1:30am to pick up a friend who I am enjoying getting to know better and we are going to be crazy black Friday Shoppers!! We will be driving to Grand Forks, ND to stand in line at Sears in hopes of snagging a new front loading washer/dryer pair! I am thankful I have a friend to go with and for new friendships formed!!

I hope everybody can find something to be thankful for today and that even those who are struggling through recent loss can see even the pain as part of God's plan and know that He loves them all.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, it has been a tough go for me to actually get it all out. Prematurity Awareness month has been a great launching pad for more regular posts.

With Love and Hugs,
Debbie