Prematurity Awareness

November is PREMATURITY AWARENESS MONTH....

I am more aware than I ever wanted to be. I'm more aware than I NEVER wanted to be.

My boy Carson was almost another scar on my heart, and often when I think of his beginnings, the hurt is still there. Hearing an emergency room doctor telling you that the prognosis is "zero" is so hurtful.

I understand now he was only doing his job and as the facts presented themselves that night, that he had no choice but to answer the way he did...what I will never understand, is how Stickers made it.

I have a lump in my throat as I type because I can remember laying on the ER table...relieved that the contractions had stopped, scared because my membranes had ruptured, and alone...all alone.

When the doctor examined me, I was scared...and trying to keep it all together...I was a nursing student after all wasn't I? Was I not just taking care of patients an hour ago?

The first tear trickled down my face when the doctor said, "Oh."

I would not show fear, showing fear would be like running from a grizzly bear...useless. It would only cause me to cry which would increase my blood pressure and likely bring on even more contractions...crying would not save my baby.

Instead of losing it, I calmly asked, "What's the prognosis doctor?" I was no way prepared for his answer, I still can't stand to think of his answer.

He looked me right in the eye as he replied, "Zero."

"Did my membranes rupture?" I ask with the knowledge that they had...you can't mistake that feeling...even at 12 weeks...yep 12 weeks...I was having contractions and my water broke...I didn't even know there was that much 'water' at 12 weeks 2 days gestation.

Weren't we supposed to be "safe" now that we were officially into our second trimester?

His answer was that he couldn't even visualize my cervix due to the amount of blood and fluid and any test to determine if it were amniotic fluid would be tainted by the blood, but in his opinion, yes, I was ruptured.

Here is a excerpt from the blog I started thanks to a friend who had led me to the March of Dimes.

June 28,2007


I was told that I would need a D&C in the morning and that although my contractions had stopped (they had been 6 minutes apart) delivery was imminent. 

I cried, called my husband (who is a truck driver and had just left home that day for a six or seven day trip, my parents (who live 600 miles away) and my one girlfriend (home alone with three kids and expecting all her daycare kids in the morning). 

I was on my own.
It was the scariest thing I have ever been through. My official diagnosis "Inevitable Abortion." That's the medical term used when there is nothing that can be done to save the pregnancy and the baby is less than 20 completed weeks.


So, I am aware, I'm more than aware.


November is Prematurity Awareness Month...how aware are YOU.


Help support the March of Dimes in their mission to prevent birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality. Click the link below to go to my fund raising page.

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