Peanut's Beginning

The following are journal entries surrounding the beginning of Peanut's short life:

January 3, 2007


Tomorrow is my first doctor's appointment. You could call this my pre-prenatal exam.


The main reason for the visit is to get information about my medications during pregnancy. It is also the official medical starting point. Ready...Set...GO!!



February 1, 2007


Dr R. gave us the "all clear." she said to keep up the exercise & eat well, take a good B  vitamin & Folic Acid. I'm already taking a multivitamin with those elements & she was happy with that.
Now, for the good news...I've been using those old home pregnancy tests I bought when we were trying with Sam and Kevin, they were outdated but I figured it wouldn't matter. I took the first on Jay's birthday and each day since. They have all been negative.


Today I bought one while @ Walmart. I wondered if I would "waste" one today or wait until morning, Well, I couldn't wait...and I think I am still in shock! It was POSITIVE. Can you believe it? I sure couldn't. I'm still not sure it's true!


I haven't told Jay. I think he'd rather hear it in person. I called and asked him  (whether he would rather hear it in person if I have a positive test) and he said it would be nice but not necessary.


Today is only Thursday, he's not going to be home until Saturday-48 more hours keeping all to myself! that was the other thing Jay said. he knew there was no way I could keep my mouth shut if I was! Well, we'll see now won't we!


My due date is October 9, 2007. This is good - I'll be finished school, and all should be fine as far as that goes, even if I do have problems, which I am not expecting.

Later entry the same day:

I'm pregnant :) Can you Imagine, pregnant without even trying! That was not even close to realistic for Jay and I! We tried for so long with Sam, then 8 more months for Kevin.


I'm sure Lindsay will be hoping for the 6th; David, the first; and Brandon the 26th!

Wow, I'm pregnant - I am so filled with happiness! I can't wait for Jay to find out - we've been joking there is no way we could be so lucky. He's gonna absolutely fall down!


he might be right, I may not be able to hold this in! I want to call him and jump & down, share this wonderful joyous news! I want to see the look on his face when I tell him. I want to be able to enjoy the moment together.


This pregnancy is going to be so special for Jay and I. It's our last one. Kevin was special because he was our first.


We are not going to share our news with everyone right away. I'm not sure when we will make it public - we'll have to see as we go!


So many milestones to look forward to; first movements, heartbeat, a tummy, Kevin and Braylie's reactions, contractions, blah, blah, blah.

I had only known my baby for a few hours and already I was planning and anticipating the greatness and wonderfulness to come.

February 2, 2007


Well, it's final. We are expecting in October. I'm still shell shocked! And I couldn't keep it from Jay. He was very happy. 


Now we'll have to come up with a name for this baby, I have no idea what we will be referring to this baby as!


Jay said he thinks it's a boy -- I can't even believe I'm pregnant and he's already making predictions!

February 4, 2007

I am so glad to be feeling well. I am so confident that this pregnancy is going to be so smooth. I'm still on cloud nine. I think I finally beleive this is happening! I am four weeks today. Four down, thirty-six to go!


We are going to take monthly photos as we did with Kevin. 

February 5, 2007

Our baby now has a name. From this day forward, the child growing in my belly will be known as Peanut.


So Peanut, I will try to be patient waiting for you. I will continue to work out with my trainer at least 3 days a week.


Love you, Peanut, we look forward to meeting you!


We are trying as well to decide what to do with your bedroom. I'm thinking green & yellow - or something!


Love,
Mommy xoxo

I think this is what people don't understand when a child is lost in early pregnancy. From the moment a pregnancy is confirmed, plans begin to form, life changes. I can still feel the joy in my heart surrounding these events, I can visualize my reactions, trying to not be so giddy around Braylie (so she wouldn't suspect and I'd have to tell her before her dad came home) yet not able to wipe the smile off my face. Even as I type, I cannot stop smiling at the joy of these memories.